The Bliss of Ignorance
by Caffine4Me
Summary: Complete A tradgedy struck in the fifth HP book. Harry must learn to cope with this tradgedy, but he's not the only one. Remus Lupin also has to grieve. R&R. Rated PG to be safe. (Werewolf moments.)


LUPIN!!! Lupin, Lupin, Lupin, Lupin,…I could do this for hours, but I won't. Anyhoo, I've been reading some Lupin fics of late, and decided to write another. If you like, go read the other two. Uhh…hmmm…what did I name them? (I'm Dori!) oh yah, Another HP ficwith Lupin, chapters one and two…OH! And an interesting fact: the night this was written just happens to be full-moon night! The time for Lup and I to howl. YAY! (how can a werewolf type at the keyboard? O__O)

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Disclaimer: If I owned HP, would I be bothering to write this on ff.net? 

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It was a bleak, snowy day. The cold wind nipped at every bit of exposed skin. Snow fell lightly onto all. Clouds filled the skies, and the sun made no attempt to show itself. So it was with gratitude that Lupin walked through the saloon style doors of The Three Broomsticks, and took a seat near the fireplace. 

"What can I get you, love?" asked kind Madam Rosemerta, walking over in clicking, glittering, heals.

"A firewhiskey, please." Lupin answered the question without a hint of emotion.

Lupin wasn't much of a drinker, but when the glass of spiced liquid came, he gulped it down. It stung his throat, and made his eyes water slightly. Handing over a Galleon for the drink, Lupin turned back to watch the flames. Reluctantly, his mind drifted. 

Had it really been such a short time since he had been standing in the Department of Mysteries? However long the time in reality, to Lupin it felt like a thousand years. And the pain. The pain was indescribable. There was no match to it. Lupin had only felt pain like this once before in his lifetime…and he still wasn't over that. 

Dumbledore sped down the steps past Neville and Harry, who had no more thought of leaving. Lupin looked up from his duel with Lucius Malfoy, as everyone else turned to see the recent appearance. That is, everyone else except for one pair…apparently unaware of the new arrival. Harry saw Sirius duck Bellatrix's jet of red light: He was laughing at her. "Come on, you can do better than that!" he yelled, his voice echoing around the cavernous room. The second jet of light hit him squarely on the chest.

And that was the last of Sirius Black. He had fallen through the veil. In his anguish, Lupin had noticed Harry leaping down the steps and held him back. A cry rose to the tip of Lupin's lips, but he stifled it.

And now, his own words came back to him. Words Lupin had spoken aloud in that room, but hadn't then quite believed. "There's nothing you can do, Harry…nothing….He's gone."

Lupin walked slowly up the stairs to the room he had rented yesterday. Swinging the door open, he noticed a set of books haphazardly tossed on the floor. The window shuddered from the wind outside, screaming in protest to the blows. The bed looked so warm and inviting, sitting there with fluffy pillows and comfy blankets. But first, to the calendar. 

Lupin took the pen attached to the calendar which he took with him everywhere. Crossing off another day was not easy. Looking to the Friday of that week, the little circle Lupin knew so well and hated so much grinned at him.

Today was Wednesday, and Friday was the full moon.

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The next day Lupin didn't even bother to get up, except to take his potion. He had taken it last week, and took it again today. Professor Dumbledore had been nice enough, though Lupin knew he was busy, to brew this up. So Lupin drank it, inwardly retching. Every time he drank it, the same words came to his mind. Pity sugar makes it useless.

Staring at the ceiling, Lupin thought of the horrors of tomorrow. He had already planned to head back to the Shrieking Shack. But to go there without Sirius or James, or even Wormtail…

Lupin couldn't think of him. It made him sick inside to know that the man to whom he had entrusted his life so many a time, the man whom he had assisted so much in school, could have turned against them with such force. He remembered the words Sirius had yelled at Peter, when the wretch had been exposed as Ron's rat. "THEN YOU SHOULD HAVE DIED! DIED RATHER THAN BETRAY YOUR FRIENDS, AS WE WOULD HAVE DONE FOR YOU!" 

So passed Thursday, and on came Friday

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The wind howled as the snow fell down in bunches. Small rocks were even beginning to plummet to the earth, lost suddenly in the sea of white. Everyone was inside enjoying their fires, and maybe even a hot cup of coco. Only one person was out and about, struggling up the hill against the wind.

Lupin caught sight of the dilapidated house, with it's boarded-up windows and crumbling roof. The peeling paint on the fence was blown off in the wind, and gone at once in the blizzard. Half covered in snowfall, completely off it's hinges, was the corroded wooden gate. Lupin passed through the hole left by the missing gate, and went to the rotted door. Making sure no one was watching, he pried it open walked into the house, and sealed it quickly behind him.

The house looked as ever. Bits of furniture were scattered around on the floor, with the actual furniture a foot away, in tatters. Looking at it Lupin remembered tearing the cushions of the couch against the wall to shreds. He decided to go up to the room. Slowly, as though his feet didn't want to obey, Lupin trudged over to the stairs. The maroon carpet went straight down it.

It was the same color as it had always been, with the same blood stain. Lupin unwillingly thought of a set of pointed white teeth as he remembered that it was here that Sirius had forced him back, pinning him to the wall, and letting the blood plunge down. In his werewolf form, Lupin had tried to attack James, and Sirius had stopped him, getting cut horribly in the process.

Tears came to his eyes as Lupin remembered the friends he had once had. None of them were left now, none of them here to help him. Not this time. James was dead, Sirius was dead, and Peter…Lupin didn't even know were Peter was. Somewhere in Volemort's ranks, doing horrible things, making horrible plans. Again the feeling of repulsion came upon him. Ignoring it, Lupin continued to cry. Salty tears splattered the stairs below him, and hit the chewed up banister. This house wouldn't ever change, this staircase wouldn't ever change, nothing would ever change. The Shrieking Shack would remain the same as it had when all those rumors had been started. It would always hold the memories of those clever teenage boys, carried away by their dreams. Those hoodlums, those marauders. 

Something did seem different about the carpet though. There was one long strip where there was less dust then the carpet surrounding it. Feeling his arms begin to shake, Lupin ran up the stairs. Night had fallen.

Slamming the door shut behind him, Lupin fell to the bed as he felt the last of his strength leave him. Suddenly his face and arms became fuzzy, his teeth grew and sharpened. Claws extended out of what a second ago had been hands, but was now paws. Lupin's neck seemed to stretch as it too become furry, and his ears became pointed and long. His head was thrown back in a sudden howl. Lupin looked as he had felt for the last six months. The pain on the inside now caused him pain on the outside. Werewolves were not to keen on grief. 

Letting his mind go as he always did, Lupin drifted off. His body was still awake and howling, but his mind was dormant and sleeping. This was how Lupin liked it best nowadays. When he transformed, he didn't have to think, didn't have to remember. He knew that when he came back to his senses tomorrow, Lupin would have to deal with the pain again, along with the cuts and scrapes. Lupin knew he would have to face the horrors of losing his three best friends, his three first friends. But for now he could let it go, and let ignorance take him. After all, ignorance is bliss.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ *Sniff* Why did I make it so sad? Poor Lupin…*Sniff* Well, what do ya think? Is it good? R&R please. I need some feedback on it. Please. Thankies in advance. This has been a D.A.G. Productions production.   
^___________________________________________________________^ Peace to the world. 


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